The Hardest Game of Croquet I Have Every Played

The Hardest Game of Croquet I Have Ever Played

It was a dark and stormy afternoon. The wind was blowing fiercely. It was raining cats and dogs.  Branches were flying everywhere outside of my bedroom window.  The power was out.  All seven of my family members were hot and sweaty. I had nothing to do.  I had read until I could read no more.  I obviously couldn’t play outside. I couldn’t go on a run.  My younger siblings and cousins were playing a wild game of sardines. Richard was reading and wouldn’t talk to me.  So my brother, Henry, and I decided to open the game closet to see what we could find.

Our game closet is so full that when you open the door, things almost fall out.  As we made our way through the boxes and boxes of games, we found lots of options.  There was Twister, Monopoly, chess, poker, blackjack, Sorry, Cat and Mouse, and even bingo.  But the game that caught our eye was mini croquet. We got out the box and started setting up the pieces.  The balls were the size of marbles, the mallets were like miniature gavels, and the wickets looked like horseshoes.  We made our course wander through the dining room, the entryway, and the living room in a zig zag pattern.  We thought this would be a quick and easy way to pass the time, but we were very wrong.  It turns out that mini croquet is much more challenging than outdoor croquet, especially on hardwood floors.  On each of our first hits, our balls flew across the room.  Henry’s went airborne!   We learned that we had to tap the balls gently rather than hit them hard.  We tried every strategy imaginable to get the ball through the wicket.  We laid on the ground with our rumps in the air.  We laid flat on the ground doing the army crawl towards the ball.  We kneeled like golfers.  We even tried blowing on the balls to make them go the right direction.  The first hole took 30 minutes!  We decided to limit the game to two holes.  We were tied after the first one.

I wanted to win.  So did Henry. He had the first hit.  He laid flat on the ground, positioned his stick, and tapped the ball.  On his first try, he hit the wicket!!  I was laughing so hard that my hand was shaky.  I hit the wicket too!  Henry lay on his side and tapped the ball.  It passed the wicket completely.  I started jumping up and down wildly!  I knew that I could make this hit.  I also knew that if I didn’t, I would probably lose the game.  I lay on my stomach and took aim.  The whole room was dead silent.  I was trying very hard not to laugh because I knew I would miss if I laughed.  I fired away at the wicket.  Everything seemed to go in slow motion.  I could see exactly where the ball was going to go…and it went right through the wicket and hit the post!  Henry clutched his head and fell to the ground in defeat.  I was jumping up and down and yelling at the top of my lungs, ”I am the champion of croquet!!!” Henry was curled up in a ball on the ground holding his ears trying not to listen to me.  His whole body was shaking with laughter.  We had the most fun together of the entire holiday, and I will never forget the hardest two-hole game of croquet I have ever played.